Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Tuning Out the Little Voice

Well, it's been months of planning and a week of school already under our belts, but still there's that little voice in the back of my head telling me I can't, that it won't work, that I should just give up.  Each day is different.  Some days I feel great, like I'm a supermom, like I accomplished 2 days worth of work in only 1 morning.  Other days it seems like I work hard all day only to accomplish one minor task.  On those days the voice is loud and clear, "You're wasting your time.  All this work for that one little activity?  Will the kids even get anything out of it?  You should be cleaning the house.  You're going to put in all this effort and your kids still won't speak an ounce of Spanish," and on and on.

If you know me, you are probably surprised to hear this.  Even though I may give off the impression that I have things together, each day is a struggle to overcome the voice and maintain confidence in what I'm doing.  Some days it's simply moving forward rather than maintaining confidence.  After all, it's difficult to maintain something that isn't there.  On those days the goal is to just keep going.

Bottom line is that I believe strongly in language education, and I know that home education is the best course for us at this point.  Those two facts the voice cannot shake.  I truly believe that God led us to this path, and that's what keeps me going on the days when my confidence wanes.  Whenever I feel like 1)We're not hitting the Spanish hard enough or 2)It's not doing any good, I have to constantly remind myself that some Spanish is better than no Spanish.  I also have to remind myself, even though I know this from experience, that languages are not acquired in a few weeks.  It takes time and dedication.....and patience, which I am sometimes not the best at!

Finally, I have to remember to keep my expectations in check, expectations for myself and the kiddos.  While I definitely don't want to have low expectations, sometimes I think they become a little unrealistic.  On those days I have to remind myself, yes, Heather, it's ok if the breakfast dishes stay on the counter until dinner, it's ok if the folded laundry sits in the basket for an extra day, and on and on.  Heather, you're not sitting on the couch eating bon-bons everyday.  You're doing the most important job that you can do, the job that God has created you to do, educating your children.   And as far as the children go, they are 5 and 3.  It's Kindergarten and Pre-K, no need to stress out about the lessons at this point.  They both already meet most of the Kindergarten standards, so just relax and enjoy this time with them.  Oh and, try to ignore that other voice, will ya?